第十四章（第9/15页）

“可你现在不再是了。”她说。“不再是一条折断脊背的蛇，不再允许任意践踏。”“我不知道我现在是什么。前途一片黑暗。”“不！”她抗议道，死命搂住他。“为什么？为什么？”“黑暗的时代即将降临，你我，乃至所有人都无法幸免。”他重复着，说话时的忧伤口吻，活像位预言家。

"No! You're not to say it!” He was silent. But she could feel the black void of despair inside him. That was the death of all desire, the death of all love: this despair that was like the dark cave inside the men, in which their spirit was lost.

“不！别说这种话！”他不再做声。但她仍感觉得到其心底绝望的深渊。那是所有欲望的坟墓，所有情感的坟墓，那种绝望就像存在于人类内心的黑洞，灵魂在其间迷失方向。

"And you talk so coldly about sex," she said. "You talk as if you had only wanted your own pleasure and satisfaction." She was protesting nervously against him.

“你如此冷漠地谈论性爱。”她说,“仿佛你只顾自己痛快，自己满足。”她不留情面地反驳着。

"Nay!" He said.

“不！”他说,

"I wanted to have my pleasure and satisfaction of a woman, and I never got it: because I could never get my pleasure and satisfaction of HER unless she got hers of me at the same time. And it never happened. It takes two.” "But you never believed in your women. You don't even believe really in me," she said.

“我想从女人身上得到愉悦和满足，但却从来没有体验过，因为只有两人同时获得快感，我的欲望才能真正实现。可这种事以前从未发生过。这需要男女双方共同努力。”“但你从不信任自己的女人。甚至连我也不完全相信。”她说。

"I don't know what believing in a woman means.” "That's it, you see!”

“我不晓得信任女人该怎么做。”“你瞧，问题就出在这儿！”

She still was curled on his lap. But his spirit was grey and absent, he was not there for her. And everything she said drove him further.

她依然蜷缩在他的腿上。但他早已情绪低落，心不在焉，似乎并未跟她共处一室。她所说的一切，只会将他逼得更远。

"But what DO you believe in?" She insisted.

“那你究竟相信什么？”她打破沙锅问到底。

"I don't know.” "Nothing, like all the men I've ever known," she said.

“我不知道。”“你不相信任何事，跟我认识的所有男人一个德行。”她说。

They were both silent. Then he roused himself and said: "Yes, I do believe in something. I believe in being warmhearted. I believe especially in being warm-hearted in love, in fucking with a warm heart. I believe if men could fuck with warm hearts, and the women take it warm-heartedly, everything would come all right. It's all this cold-hearted fucking that is death and idiocy.” "But you don't fuck me cold-heartedly," she protested.

两人都陷入沉默。后来，他振作精神说：“是的，我确实相信某些东西。我相信要有颗真诚的心。我相信应该真诚地去爱，真诚地做爱。我相信如果男人能够真诚地去做爱，女人也能真诚地予以回应，那么彼此之间的矛盾就会烟消云散。相反，导致毁灭和愚钝的，恰恰就是那种冷漠的做爱方式。”“可你不准冷漠地跟我做爱。”她抗议道。

"I don't want to fuck you at all. My heart's as cold as cold potatoes just now.” "Oh!" She said, kissing him mockingly. "Let's have them sautées." He laughed, and sat erect.

“我现在根本不想跟你做爱。此刻，我的心冷得跟放凉的土豆一样。”“噢！”她说道，笑着亲吻着他。“那么就把它们煎一下吧。”他露出笑容，坐直身子。

"It's a fact!" He said.

“事实就是如此。”他说。

"Anything for a bit of warm-heartedness. But the women don't like it. Even you don't really like it. You like good, sharp, piercing cold-hearted fucking, and then pretending it's all sugar. Where's your tenderness for me? You're as suspicious of me as a cat is of a dog. I tell you it takes two even to be tender and warm-hearted. You love fucking all right: but you want it to be called something grand and mysterious, just to flatter your own self-importance. Your own self-importance is more to you, fifty times more, than any man, or being together with a man.” "But that's what I'd say of you. Your own self-importance is everything to you.” "Ay! Very well then!" He said, moving as if he wanted to rise. "Let's keep apart then. I'd rather die than do any more cold-hearted fucking.” She slid away from him, and he stood up.