第二章（第6/7页）

Connie and Clifford had now been nearly two years at Wragby, living their vague life of absorption in Clifford and his work. Their interests had never ceased to flow together over his work. They talked and wrestled in the throes of composition, and felt as if something were happening, really happening, really in the void.

转眼间，康妮和克利福德已在拉格比府住了将近两年，过着混沌不清的日子，全部精力都集中在克利福德和他的作品上。创作的过程中，两人的兴趣不断高涨、彼此交融。他们相互交换意见，反复推敲，仔细斟酌，深尝创作的艰辛，感觉到那些虚无的故事里，果然发生着什么，的确发生着什么。

And thus far it was a life: in the void. For the rest it was non-existence. Wragby was there, the servants...but spectral, not really existing. Connie went for walks in the park, and in the woods that joined the park, and enjoyed the solitude and the mystery, kicking the brown leaves of autumn, and picking the primroses of spring. But it was all a dream; or rather it was like the simulacrum of reality. The oak-leaves were to her like oak-leaves seen ruffling in a mirror, she herself was a figure somebody had read about, picking primroses that were only shadows or memories, or words. No substance to her or anything...no touch, no contact! Only this life with Clifford, this endless spinning of webs of yarn, of the minutiae of consciousness, these stories Sir Malcolm said there was nothing in, and they wouldn't last. Why should there be anything in them, why should they last? Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. Sufficient unto the moment is the appearance of reality.

而这就是迄今为止他们生活的全部——无尽的虚空。此外并无真实的存在。拉格比府仍巍然耸立，仆从们依旧来回奔忙……但这些都如同幽灵般虚幻，并非真实地存在着。康妮时常独自去花园里散步，在通往花园的树林中徜徉，踢踩秋日泛黄的落叶，摘撷春天的樱草花，体味着那里的幽静和神秘。但这一切都只是梦境，或者更像是现实的幻影。在她看来，橡树叶仿佛在镜中摇曳，而自己也化身成书中的人物，采撷着那些投影于镜像中、深埋于记忆里、或者记叙于文字间的樱草花。对她而言，一切都是虚无缥缈的……没有联系，缺少沟通！只有与克利福德的生活，那无穷无尽、曲折离奇的故事情节，细小琐碎的心理变化，还有马尔科姆爵士口中空洞无物、不会长久流传的小说。为什么非要有内涵呢？为什么非得长久流传呢？眼下烦恼已不少，莫为将来空自扰。今朝有酒今朝醉，明日愁来明日忧。

Clifford had quite a number of friends, acquaintances really, and he invited them to Wragby. He invited all sorts of people, critics and writers, people who would help to praise his books. And they were flattered at being asked to Wragby, and they praised. Connie understood it all perfectly. But why not? This was one of the fleeting patterns in the mirror. What was wrong with it? She was hostess to these people...mostly men. She was hostess also to Clifford's occasional aristocratic relations. Being a soft, ruddy, country-looking girl, inclined to freckles, with big blue eyes, and curling, brown hair, and a soft voice, and rather strong, female loins she was considered a little old-fashioned and 'womanly'. She was not a 'little pilchard sort of fish', like a boy, with a boy's flat breast and little buttocks. She was too feminine to be quite smart.

克利福德朋友众多，但都只是泛泛之交，因此拉格比府也时常宾客盈门。受邀前来的朋友形形色色，其中有评论家及作家，都是些能为他的作品唱颂歌的家伙。能被请来拉格比府做客，他们个个受宠若惊，说些趋炎附势的恭维话也再正常不过。康妮自然是心知肚明。但这又有什么不妥呢？这也不过是镜中转瞬即逝的幻象而已。没什么可大惊小怪的。身为女主人，她要招待这些来宾，其中大多是男性。还要款待克利福德那些不常登门的贵族亲朋。她性情温和，面色红润，如同乡下女孩般平易近人，脸上总生有雀斑，一对湛蓝色阔目，一头棕色卷发，再加上温柔的嗓音，强健的腰身，大家都认为她虽然略显老气，但却有“女人味”。她跟干瘪的沙丁鱼扯不上半点关系，也不像男孩般平胸瘦臀。反倒是过分的柔美让她显得不够时髦。

So the men, especially those no longer young, were very nice to her indeed. But, knowing what torture poor Clifford would feel at the slightest sign of flirting on her part, she gave them no encouragement at all. She was quiet and vague, she had no contact with them and intended to have none. Clifford was extraordinarily proud of himself.

因此，男人们，尤其是那些老家伙们，当真对她殷勤备至。但康妮清楚，只要自己稍显轻佻，可怜的克利福德就会备受煎熬，所以她从来不会给那些狂蜂浪蝶以可乘之机。她寡言少语，态度冷淡，从不与他们多做纠缠，甚至根本没有这样的想法。克利福德为此得意不已。