第十章（第29/34页）

因此，他那对努出框外的淡蓝色眼睛古怪异常，阴险鬼祟，冷酷无情，又显得骄横跋扈。那种骄横的神态，仿佛表明他正将胜利的旌旗插上生命的沃野。“谁知晓意志的神秘——它竟能击败天使——”但他畏惧漫漫长夜，无眠的长夜。当恐惧从四面八方涌来，这样的感觉确实令人生畏。更可怕的是，存活于世，但却毫无生机，死气沉沉地独熬孤单长夜。

But now he could ring for Mrs. Bolton. And she would always come. That was a great comfort. She would come in her dressing gown, with her hair in a plait down her back, curiously girlish and dim, though the brown plait was streaked with grey. And she would make him coffee or camomile tea, and she would play chess or piquet with him. She had a woman's queer faculty of playing even chess well enough, when she was three parts asleep, well enough to make her worth beating. So, in the silent intimacy of the night, they sat, or she sat and he lay on the bed, with the reading-lamp shedding its solitary light on them, she almost gone in sleep, he almost gone in a sort of fear, and they played, played together—then they had a cup of coffee and a biscuit together, hardly speaking, in the silence of night, but being a reassurance to one another.

还好现在他可以按铃召唤博尔顿太太。她总是随叫随到。对克利福德而言，这意味着巨大的慰藉。她会穿着睡袍前来，发辫垂在背后，尽管褐色的秀发中已有斑驳的银丝，可仍隐约存着几分少女的气质。她会为他准备咖啡或者甘菊茶，陪他下棋或者打皮克牌。即使是下棋，她也能显示出女性的卓越天赋，就算睡眼惺忪，还是能走出妙招，让人不可小觑。如此一来，在静谧的夜晚，两人亲昵对坐，或者是她坐着，他躺在床上。台灯那孤寂的光辉洒在他们身上。她昏昏欲睡，他满心忧惧，却仍一起玩着棋牌，共进咖啡或饼干。虽然置身于寂静午夜，两人都不会多言，但心灵却因彼此倍感宽慰。

And this night she was wondering who Lady Chatterley's lover was. And she was thinking of her own Ted, so long dead, yet for her never quite dead. And when she thought of him, the old, old grudge against the world rose up, but especially against the masters, that they had killed him. They had not really killed him. Yet, to her, emotionally, they had. And somewhere deep in herself because of it, she was a nihilist, and really anarchic.

当夜，她正费尽心思，揣度着查泰莱夫人的情郎究竟是谁。她想起了自己的泰德，他虽已过世多年，但却永远活在自己心里。当她想起亡夫，深埋心底的怨恨也随之复苏，她对这个世界，尤其对那些害丈夫惨死的老爷们充满仇恨。其实，他们并非直接的凶手。但在她的感情世界里，却始终这样认为。正因为此，在内心深处，她始终是虚无主义，甚至无政府主义的信徒。

In her half-sleep, thoughts of her Ted and thoughts of Lady Chatterley's unknown lover commingled, and then she felt she shared with the other woman a great grudge against Sir Clifford and all he stood for. At the same time she was playing piquet with him, and they were gambling sixpences. And it was a source of satisfaction to be playing piquet with a baronet, and even losing sixpences to him.

半梦半醒之间，她思念着自己的泰德，猜度着查泰莱夫人那神秘的情人，两种思绪混为一团，另一个女人对克利福德爵士、对他所代表的阶级的仇恨，此刻她感同身受。而与此同时，她还在陪他打皮克牌，以六便士为赌注。跟高高在上的从男爵打牌，实在是莫大的荣耀，即使输掉这点赌注，也无所谓。

When they played cards, they always gambled. It made him forget himself. And he usually won. Tonight too he was winning. So he would not go to sleep till the first dawn appeared. Luckily it began to appear at half past four or thereabouts.

他俩玩牌时，总会下点赌注。这会让他全身心投入其中。他总是赢家。今晚就是如此。因此，他总是鏖战到破晓时分，才去睡觉。幸好，大约四点半左右，天就会蒙蒙亮起。

Connie was in bed, and fast asleep all this time. But the keeper, too, could not rest. He had closed the coops and made his round of the wood, then gone home and eaten supper. But he did not go to bed. Instead he sat by the fire and thought.

此刻，康妮正在床上酣睡。但守林人却无法入眠。他关好鸡笼，在林中巡视一番，便回家吃晚饭。但晚饭过后，他却不打算睡觉。反而坐在壁炉边陷入沉思。

He thought of his boyhood in Tevershall, and of his five or six years of married life. He thought of his wife, and always bitterly. She had seemed so brutal. But he had not seen her now since 1915, in the spring when he joined up. Yet there she was, not three miles away, and more brutal than ever. He hoped never to see her again while he lived.